Pretending
by parischangedher
Summary: Another take on Tony/Ziva's reunion-this time in the elevator. S17 promo spoilers!


Thanks goes to wanna-be-bold for the request on an elevator reunion scene! Spoilers for the most recent promos.

Almost every day for the last six years, she imagined how he would react to her return. Sometimes, she thought he'd be excited and passionate. On her worst days, she imagined him telling her he's done with her.

Never in a million years would she have expected complete silence.

"We have to talk, Tony," Ziva said as she approached his old desk where he'd been chatting with McGee. "Now."

* * *

Tony looked at her for a few seconds before rising to his feet. She sighed to herself before heading to the elevator.

As soon as the doors closed, Ziva pulled the emergency stop handle. She took a deep breath before turning to look at Tony, who had a controlled look in his face. With his eyes glued forward and arms crossed, Ziva's heart pounded in fear.

"I sent you a message, Tony. I told you I was alive," she started softly. "That should count for something, yes?"

If she didn't know him like she did, she would've missed his reaction-an almost imperceptible tightening of his jaw.

She waited a moment before continuing, wishing she could disappear into the floor and set the clock back half a decade.

"Please say something, Tony," she pleaded, gently touching his arm. "I am so sorry."

"I don't want to hurt you, Ziva."

"I know," she said, moving directly in front of him and meeting his eyes. "But if we are ever going to get through this...perhaps you must."

He said nothing.

"Tony!" she yelled, finally losing her patience. Quoting his old words to her, she stepped closer. "Get it out of your system. Now. You want to take a punch, take a swing? Go ahead, do it! God knows I deserve it."

Tony's eyes narrowed with fire as distant memories came rushing back. He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed gently.

"You know I would never do that."

Ziva nodded softly but didn't respond.

"It's just..." he started, running a hand through his hair and stepping back from her. "Yes, I am glad you told me that you were still alive. Of course I am. But that doesn't make up for it."

"Make up for what, Tony?" she asked quietly, swallowing hard. "Say it."

"Everything!"

Ziva bit her lip and closed her eyes, guilt rising within her.

"It doesn't make up for you staying in Israel and pushing me away. For ceasing all contact except for one lousy message. For not telling me that you were pregnant in the first place. Pregnant, Ziva! With our _child! _Don't you think I wanted to be there? Don't you think I _deserved _to be there?"

Ziva started to respond, but he cut her off.

"And, it doesn't make up for you making the executive decision to handle this threat on your own all this time. I get a say, as Tali's father. Whether you like it or not," he said, pausing for a moment.

"I don't know what it will take to get this through your head, Zi, and frankly I can't take much more. But you. are. not. alone. Damn it, when you are going to stop acting like you are?"

Now, it was Ziva's turn to remain silent.

"Answer me," he demanded, now mere inches from her. "When?"

A tear slipped down her cheek as she took one of his hands in both of hers.

"I am trying, Tony. I am," she said. "I know you deserved to know. And I regret my decision to not tell you. But you have to understand...Tali was not the only person I was working to protect."

Tony just stared, his face unreadable. "Tony, if I had told you about Tali and the threat against us, and if something happened to you because of my past...I simply would not have been be able to take it. You are too important to me. I know that might be selfish, but it is what it is. And I couldn't let Tali lose both of her parents if things went wrong."

"It still wasn't your call to make."

"You're right," she said, stroking his cheek lightly, her eyes begging him to forgive her. "And I am sorry, Tony. I am so, so sorry."

Neither spoke for a few moments, each allowing the other time to process.

"Ok," he said finally, as his own eyes started to water. "Ok, Ziva. Let's make a deal. I will spend the rest of my days helping you get it through your head...if you don't walk away again. And-and if we both stop pretending."

Smiling softly, she closed the last bit of space between them and kissed his cheek. Wrapping both arms around his neck, she responded. "That sounds like a pretty good deal."

Tony chuckled and leaned his forehead against hers, wrapping his arms around her back.

"Good. Because I can't let one more day go by without telling you how much I love you, Ziva."

Another tear fell down her cheek, only this time Tony wiped it away with his thumb. "I...I love you too." She played with the hairs on the back of his neck before continuing and searched his eyes. "Thank you, Tony."

Tony smiled and said nothing. Instead, he brought one hand up to her head before leaning down to kiss her. She responded, tightening her grip around his neck and pulling him even closer. It was slow. They poured all of their pain, regret, hope, and love into it, as it marked the ending of a tragic chapter-and the beginning of the rest of their lives.


End file.
